Stroke of Luck

March In Pembrokeshire

I've just come back from a long weekend in the country. Bluestone in Pembrokeshire National Park to be precise. It's was a beautiful, indulgent weekend and the weather shone on us the whole time. I attempted archery (turns out I'm not very good), cycled (which I haven't done in almost 20 years and it turns out, I'm not very good!), and spent far too much time lounging in outdoor hot tubs (at which, i'm awesome). Absolute bliss. The highlight of the holiday however came on the last day . . .

We decided to visit Manor House Wildlife Park which was bought a couple of years ago by interior designer Anna Ryder Richardson and while it's very much a work in progress it's a beautiful place and is aiming (and succeeding from what I saw) to be an eco-friendly conservation park.

The park is pretty special because you get to stroke animals. I'm a big fan of stroking stuff so I was in my element. Things I got to stroke include: Wallabys, blind albino wallabys, the weirdest looking chickens I've ever seen & a variety of goats. All good stuff!

 

The highlight however was when Anna Ryder Richardson drove past in a Jeep, stopped and informed us that one of the camels had just gone into labour. We ran down to the camel field and got to watch the whole birth. It was rather remarkable. 

We witnessed the birth, the first very wobbly steps and it's many failed attempts at feeding. I'd also like to add that we would have missed the whole thing had Anna Ryder Richardson not stopped to tell us as we had already been to see the camels. An incredible holiday and an incredible experience.

Alas it's back to reality now and with that work. Still, I have some great things lined up in this coming week so hopefully reality won't hit me too hard.

Scientific Appeal

Isn’t science fascinating? Seriously, I can’t get enough of science/nature based documentaries and with both ‘Human Planet’ & ‘Wonders of the Universe’ on TV at the moment I feel like a kid in a universal candy store.

Currently I'm brimming with fascinating factoids about my world and my species , yet for all this insight I am still baffled as to why I find Prof Brian Cox sexy! No offence to the lovely Prof Cox but he’s not the standard heart throb is he? Still, he just seems to do it for me. I’m going to ‘out’ my sister at this point and say she also thinks the Professor is hot. So I know I'm not alone in this. 

 

The obvious explanation is that I’m attracted to his brain. That can't be the extent of it though. I'm not attracted to Jeremy Paxman or Patrick Moore* etc. Brains alone do not make the man it seems. 

 

Having given it far too much consideration I've now come to the conclusion that it's his energy & enthusiasm I'm attracted to. He is clearly deeply excited by what he does and that's pretty damn sexy in my book . He seems as fascinated by what he's telling you as you are listening to it. Who'd have thought enthusiasm would be such a turn on?

Sexy science ladies and gentlemen. It's the future!

* I'm ashamed at how long it took me to remember the names of just 2 brainy celebrities!

Things That Go Bump In The Night

For the last week or so I have had my sleep interrupted by a wailing, gnashing., screeching sound that seems to come from the devil himself. Yep, you’ve guessed it. Cats have been shagging outside my window.

Now I don’t know if it’s normal for cats to have crazy, violent lovin but these cats gotta ‘ave it and it’s driving me insane. In actual fact I’ve opened the window to shout at them several times but nothing says crazy to the neighbours like shouting out the window at 3 am at what appears to be a bush.

So what can I do? On the occasions I have shouted at them they simply stop and look at me then carry on. I’ve also tried ignoring them but alas it’s a bit difficult to get to sleep with their wee furry selves boinking up against the wall. I’m at a loss. Any suggestions welcomed on how to put an end to their freaky shenanigans so I can get some sleep.

And Now For Something Completely Different

Unusually for me, this may prove to be a rather serious post! I apologize and will return to my normal programming soon, I promise. Also, look, it’s really long and not particularly coherent so again, apologies. In all honesty I’m not even sure I should post it but hey I said I used this blog for cathartic purposes so following that logic I thought I should.

Channel 4 recently launched a new political satire show called 10 O’clock live. Funny and rather more informative than you’d expect for a show in which Jimmy Carr is involved, it’s a mixture of serious hard-hitting interviews, comedy sketches and my personal highlight of the show, David Mitchell’s, generally spot-on, rants.

Now it may come as a surprise to people who know me but I am interested in world affairs and do try to keep up with the news. I will however hold my hands up and say that, more often than not, it deeply confuses me and I don’t understand it nearly as much as I wish I did. I rarely take part in political discussions because of this and also because I feel I’m not eloquent enough to express my feelings on the truly important things going on in the world. So you would be forgiven for thinking I didn’t have a clue what is going on. That being said, I’m currently very angry!

The final straw for me came on Thursday’s 10 O’clock live; David Mitchell’s rant was all about Lockheed Martin’s involvement in the 2011 Census. Now I had no idea who Lockheed Martin was prior to this but looking into it, it appears they are ‘an American defence & communications’ company. I’m sure that’s hugely simplifying their portfolio but I think that’s pretty much the gist of what they do. Basically, the UK Government has paid an arms firm from the US, £150 million to help with the 2011 Census.

There are several things about this that deeply anger me. Firstly, why the hell do we need to pay a company £150million to do this? The Office of National Statistics should surely be able to do the work. I understand the Census is a gargantuan undertaking but it’s not unprecedented. It happens every 10 years for Christ’s sake. Surely by now we can manage it ourselves. And if not, were there no UK companies that put a bid in for the contract?

Secondly, why give the contract to a US Arms firm?! This is the company that is responsible for Trident nuclear missiles & cluster bombs, a company that provided private interrogators to Abu Ghraib and Guantánamo Bay. I mean surely this is just insanity? It appears Lockheed Martin was involved in the 2001 Census as well but that doesn’t make it any more justifiable does it?!

There are currently calls from some to boycott the Census but, like Mitchell in his rant, I don’t think that’s the right way to go. In fact I have no idea what I can do with the outrage I feel in response to this. This anger isn’t just aimed at the Census thing. The census merely was the final push into maddening rage for me. Things such as the tax dodging revelations of Barclays Bank last week (see Jon’s blog re that, he can express that stuff a lot better than I ever could), the BBC’s belief that the Oscars Red Carpet is more worthy of news coverage than the goings on in Libya and more locally, the absolute immorality of a local council in the treatment of its longstanding employees have combined to have me seething for the last couple of weeks.

It’s quite obvious to anyone with a bit of sense that the world is falling apart right now. Now I’m not going attempt to comment on the things currently going on as I honestly don’t know enough but I know how I feel and what I’ve seen. We’ve had disaster after disaster and war after war. Will any of it actually prompt me to do anything though? The honest answer is probably not, and that’s what has unsettled me so much.

I recently heard a song called ‘Hurricane’ by a man named David Ford. It’s a song about our inaction both personally and as a generation, to respond.  It has really touched a nerve with me:

“Well, this land is your land, this land is mine,

Now pull up a chair and we can watch the decline, 

And it's never enough,

The surroundings are just too damn comfortable here”

This blog post is by no means a call to arms. I know my anger will pass, more quickly than it should in fact, but I had to express my frustration. If nothing else I know I can read it back in years to come and think: “Hey, at one point in your life you cared (almost enough)”.

Two links if you’re interested:

• The David Mitchell rant which inspired the above
• David Ford’s ‘Hurricane’ in case you too would like to question yourself

Ok, rant over!

New Pervy Winds

Well I finally had enough time to redesign Pervy Winds. I may keep tweaking it over the next couple of days so apologies if anything appears or vanishes at short notice. I was getting mightily bored of the pink so I hope you like it and i've even found myself a new monster profile picture:

A Little Creepy

Creepy men oiling their way towards you on the dancefloor is something almost every girl has to deal with at some point in their lives.  That's why this video by The Loney Island has me laughing and cringing in horror at the same time.

I can't decide if I love it or hate it so i'll let you decide . . .


 

A Little Night Music

Gerard Way - My Chemical Romance
CIA Cardiff

Well Monday night I went to see My Chemical Romance at the CIA in Cardiff. Terrified I was going to be the oldest member of the audience I emo’d up and after a liberal application of eye liner I felt ready to face the crowd.

As it turns out I wasn’t the only grown up there. There were plenty of us. Granted most of them did seem to be chaperoning their ‘yoof’ but for my own self confidence I neatly ignored that fact.



The Blackout

The concert was very good. Not much interaction with the audience but they came, they performed well and they left. I suppose you can’t really ask for much more. I’m not a huge fan but I do like some of their tracks and if I’m perfectly honest, after a busy couple of months I really needed to let my hair down. So I did and had a cracking, wild night.

The highlight of the night though was undoubtedly Welsh band ‘The Blackout’ who were supporting. They played their wee souls out and barely stopped chatting with the crowd. They even had us all kneel down which is an interesting vantage point for a rock concert!

On a rather different musical note, I’m going to see a singer/songwriter called ‘Teddy Thompson’ at the Glee Club tonight. If I’m honest, I have no idea who he is or what his music is like but tickets were reasonable and there’s nothing wrong with a little bit of mystery on a Wednesday night.

Personally I’m hoping for a mellow, eyeliner free evening. I’ll keep you posted.

Teddy Thompson

Silly Place Names

According to the Metro and BBC the residents of Sully, South Wales are outraged at the criticism they have been receiving since their new bilingual sign posts have gone up. You see, apparently the Welsh translation of ‘Sully’ is ‘Sili’ and residents have decided that they just can’t handle the jokes that this translation has caused and want the signs changed.

Now I don’t know about you but I don’t find anything particularly funny about a village called ‘Sili’. I know it sounds like ‘Silly’ but it’s not and even if it was, surely there are worse names for a town?

For instance my grandparents live beside a pleasant little Irish village called ‘Muff’. Now that is funny! Far from cowering at the moniker though the local people have embraced muff and in fact you can even pop along to the Muff Festival, the Muff Divers Association or even stop of at the local petrol station which proudly advertises itself as ‘Top Muff’.

Now I know the Welsh are rather famous for taking themselves a touch too seriously but up to now this isn’t a stereotype I’d found to be that true. However, if the residents of Sully go ahead and change their signs I may have to rethink that!

Calling all Celestial Counsellors

Like most sensible people I have absolutely no belief in astrology and am quite happy to accept the fact that star signs are indeed bollocks. Yet for some reason, like most people, I still read them if I happen to flick through the newspaper.

As a Scorpio I'm used to 'the stars' informing me of my hot temper and need to think through a rash decision (again bollocks). Today however my star sign said point blank, 'speak to a counsellor'!

Rather alarmist isn't it? Have things deteriorated so badly for anyone born under Scorpio (or however it works) that we all need mental guidance?! There was of course a bit of a preamble before this stark revelation but not much of one. 'Speak to a counsellor' was the main thread and the final statement.

Obviously I won't be heeding this little piece of advice, however, I do think that if I started my first counselling session with 'The stars told me to come see you', that my counsellor would believe I had made the right call.

Happy Birthday

 

Well Pervy Winds is exactly 1 year old today! So happy birthday to you blog. 

If I'm honest I thought I would have lost interest long before now but no, it's still going and in fact it's oddly cathartic sending my thoughts out into the wilderness.

During my first year I've blogged about such random things as feeling horny, pervy winds, men, tampons, false nails and well, a lot more men! An insight into my mind if ever there was one!

You know what to expect from my rather limited writing abilities by now and it may pain you to know that I don't intend to change anything! Possibly the site might get a facelift but apart from that I'm afraid you're stuck with me!

So people go have a drink to celebrate/commiserate the fact that I'm still here and big thanks to anyone that actually reads my madness. I'll raise a glass on your behalf tonight!

Mixed Messages?

According to the new charity, ‘Action for Happiness’, us Brits are not a happy bunch. Not surprising news for a lot of people I imagine but the BBC in its wisdom has decided it wants to help us and so this week it is doing a series of short pieces on how to be happy with helpful tips and advice.

This morning however, after this lovely ‘fun’ piece of journalism we cut straight to the weather girl:

“It’s going to be another gloomy tedious Monday I’m afraid”

Well, that’s cheery isn’t it?

Let Us Be Gleeful

Well I have finally come round to what the rest of the world already knew; Glee rocks. I knew I would love it because everyone that knows me has been telling me to watch it since day one. So finally, I did.

Glee is everything you would expect from a show based around a high school glee club. It’s camp, musical and comic. In fact it’s everything most musicals are and as a huge fan of musical theatre that’s fine by me.

Season 2 kicked off this week in the UK and it promises to be just as much fun. With more impromptu singing than before, the first episode had me practically bouncing for joy.

My absolute highlight of the whole series however has been when Jesse met Rachel by the Stephen Sondheim section (if only!) of the library:

"I picked the Stephen Sondheim biography section for our clandestine meeting place because only he would be able to express my melancholia."

As a girl who has spent years raving about Sondheim only to be met with the inevitable response of “Who?” I whooped with joy at that moment!

Another particularly unusual thing about the show is the fact that I am not remotely attracted to any member of the cast! This is highly strange for me. Ok, so most of them are high school kids which I shouldn’t be looking at anyway but there is the odd adult chucked in there for good measure and yet still no stirrings. Congratulations to the casting director for managing to find a completely asexual group of people! It’s given me a whole new viewing experience.

So while the show loosely weaves plots around its chosen song and then tries to wedge some sort of moral in there for good measure, I don’t care. It’s smartly written and has great music. I could do a lot worse in this dark, miserable January than a show that makes me laugh, sigh and most importantly, makes me gleeful.

A Modern Day Martyr

A couple of days before Christmas I overheard the following conversation:

“Hello Jane, how are you keeping?”

“Oh hello Mary. Well as you know, this time last year I had my heart attack and now, well you won’t believe it but I’ve got an eye infection! But you know me, I don’t complain”

I’m personally hoping Santa brought Jane some perspective for Christmas.

2010

Never has a year flown by as quickly as 2010 seemed too. I still partially believe that I must have passed out for 6 months of it as it seems the only explanation for the sheer speed with which it passed. Still it was an excellent year. In fact I would maybe even put it down as one of my best years. Here are some of the things I’m very thankful for in 2010.

In no particular order:

• Family – 2010 was a great year for my family as my sister finally got her finger out and got married to her lovely boyfriend of God knows how many years.

• Friends – It was the year I turned 30 and some of my best friends were with me to celebrate/commiserate. I had an absolutely superb night. 2010 also saw Miss Rainy finally make her way to the land of leeks! A feat which may in fact be repeated again in 2011!

• My Husband – I’m not going to get too sloppy here as I don’t really do that but for Christmas 2010 my husband gave me a printed copy of a story he used to tell me on the phone during our long distance relationship days . The work that went into is incredible and I love it. It’s perfect.

• Work – One of my jobs I adore. I have quite possibly the best set of colleagues I’ve ever worked with and I actually like what we do. I’m very grateful for the role but alas it comes to an end soon. The other job is not so good. While the organisation I work with does great work, my actual day to day working life is dull to say the least. Still, I’m thankful I have work at all!

• Music – I’ve attended some great concerts in 2010 the highlight of which was 30 Seconds To Mars (possibly the best concert I’ve ever been too) with the super hot Jared Leto. Another highlight, although somewhat different, was Tim Minchin with an orchestra at the CIA in December. I laughed, cried and laughed again. More fab concerts are already lined up for 2011!

• Holiday - I had a weekend away with friends in 2010 which in itself may not seem like much but when you factor in that, apart from visiting family, I haven’t had a holiday in 6 years, you’ll understand why it’s a highlight.

• Acceptance - I’m a very positive person generally but my god can I be negative about myself sometimes. 2010 was the year I think I finally learnt to accept myself and not be so flipping self conscious all the time. I thank, age, wisdom and burlesque for that! I’m still overly self conscious but hey, it’s a start!

• Ophelia Nightly – 2010 was the year I started slinking and strutting by joining a Burlesque class. It’s been hugely enjoyable, rather educational and it’s increased my confidence phenomenally. I really hope to continue in 2011. I don’t think I can stress enough how much more confidence it has given me and I’m so grateful for that.

• True Blood – It’s now an undeniable truth that I am obsessed with True Blood. It’s funny, sexy and gory. What else do you want? 2010 was the year Eric Northman got HOT and Jason Stackhouse joined the ‘Light Of Day Institute’. What followed made for some of the most enjoyable TV I’ve ever seen. If you’re not already, be smart and go watch.

• Blu-Ray - Thank you 2010 for True Blood in blu-ray. More specifically thank you for giving me Eric Northman, Jason Stackhouse, Sam Merlotte & Eggs in 42inch glorious high definition! Praise the Lord!

• Dry Shampoo – I’m finally free from the constraints of washing, drying and then straightening my hair every single flipping day of my life thanks to this little miracle.

• Spontaneity – 2010 has been full of spontaneous acts (either by me or others) which made it unpredictable and hugely enjoyable.

• My Blog – In January 2010 I started my blog. While I may be a little erratic with my updates I have tried to keep in updated reasonably regularly. I don’t know if anyone actually reads it & enjoys it but I enjoy writing it (and it gives me something to do!).

All in all it’s been a great, fun year and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that 2011 will continue in a similar vein.

Snow Don't You Know?

We’ll here in the UK we’ve been hit with some pretty bad snow in the past week or so. While not unusual it is relatively rare for us to have this much snow so early in the Winter.

On the whole I’ve loved it. From frolicking in the snow building snowmen, stroking reindeer and weak snowball throwing I’ve been having a great time. Unfortunately this morning was a different story.

My snowman!

Anyone that knows me well will know I have difficulty keeping upright at the best of times but my walk to work this morning (in wellies no less!) was fairly hairy! All that beautiful, fluffy, powdery snow has turned into thick, hard, slippery ice! A lot less fun for me and my rather inept feet!

While clawing onto my husband I was relatively safe but the second I was let loose by myself it was a different story. I managed it though. So far, no falling. I think that’s a big tick for me.

When I eventually got to work I found that only 2 other people had bothered and one of them, who lives closer than I do, left after an hour because 'it was looking bad out there’. So really, what was all that effort for? I waddled my way into town and through the rather deadly streets to sit in work and do sod all. Great.

Another reason why I don’t love the snow right now is because my husband and I are supposed to be flying home to Ireland for Christmas. I'm trying to remain positive but my God it's difficult when you're surrounded by doomsayers. All I've been listening to for the past few days is 'i'd prepare yourself for the worst love'. Why thank you, and a Merry Christmas to you as well! Still, screw them, I'm trying to keep upbeat. I believe I will make it home and if there's any justice in the world, when it comes time for my flight home, we'll have a big dump of snow and I'll be stranded in Ireland for a week or two. That would be perfect.

Could It Be Magic?

I believe I have reasonable taste in music. Mine is a fairly eclectic collection (isn't everybody's?) but I've managed to spend most of my life without falling for allure of 'chart music'. However suddenly i'm starting to feel the call of none other that the popiest of pop music, my teenage nemesis, boy band music! Yes, I'm starting to REALLY like Take That!

During my teenage years Take That started their reign over my peers and I scoffed every single one of them for their shameful taste in music. Boy band?! Pah, how could anyone find that remotely appealing. They looked like ken dolls and had about as much charisma as Ken too in my opinion. Needless to say there were no Mark or Robbie posters on my walls, I didn't have a stash of Smash Hits piled up in the corner of my room and I didn't know the dance moves to Could It Be Magic. Then, long overdue in my opinion, Take That disappeared into the ether and my friends returned to normal.

Now many years later the boys are back. I balked at their return and proclaimed it would be a disaster. If they where crap first time around, how bad would be this time?!

However it seems I may have spoken a little too soon as I'm growing rather fond of the boys! I still find the lot of them as appealing as Mr Bean but the music seems pretty good this time around! Maybe I'm mellowing in my old age or maybe, just maybe, they've got their act together.

I'm truly loving the new song 'Flood' and I can't even hear 5 seconds of 'Rule The World' without wanting to stick the movie Stardust on (which the song is the theme too). Incidentally, Stardust as a movie is not bad wee film, however it's not exceptional either, yet somehow every time I hear that song it makes me think it's the best movie in the world and I must watch it. Inevitably, when I do finally submit and watch it, I'm always disappointed!

Anyway I've tried to cure myself of this new affliction but I just can't. I've recently been catching myself singing along to not only the new songs but the crap old ones as well! Is this a consequence of my getting older, am I just a sick sick person or have I been put under some sinister spell by the not so fab five?! I'd really love to know.

The Devil In Me

A couple of weeks ago I had my first ice hockey experience. Cardiff Devils v the Belfast Giants. In fact, not only was it my first time at an ice hockey game it was my first ever live sporting event. That is, unless school sports days count?

I quickly discovered that ice hockey is fast, violent and much to my amazement, sexy!

Men, hitting other men with sticks, windows and pucks. It’s an awesome thing to watch. Seriously, every time a player smashed into the glass it was oddly and unexpectedly, exhilarating. Go figure!

The players are, naturally, all bound up but peeling all that bulk away in my mind I managed to convince myself that they were all beautiful Adonis types under their padding. They are men, big hulking, bonafide men and they were beating the crap out of each other. Wow!

My equally hormonal friend Clare had the same experience although she did put a good game face on when her lovely boyfriend almost caught us rating the players as they came up on the monitors. Oops! And if he’s reading this, just ignore this paragraph ok?

Our fabulous experience was topped off by my hubby being hit by a puck (a good thing in icehockey apparently and rare it seems!) and randomly winning a pizza from the gropey, Cardiff Devils mascot, ‘Lucy fur’, which we ate during the game!

Not only have I already booked for my next game but I’m actively encouraging my husband to take up ice hockey (or at the very least buy the outfit ;-).

Is all sport such a turn on or is it simply that potent mix of ice and passion that makes ice hockey so damn hot?!

The Big Bad 30!

Well a couple of weeks ago I had the rather daunting experience of turning 30. Needless to say I had been dreading this for sometime. I’m not exactly sure why but I guess 30 to me meant grown up. 30 year olds are fully-fledged adults and I don’t feel my life is that of a fully-fledged adult at all! Sure I’ve got the husband and the mortgage but I have very little responsibility, no children (or pets either) and no great career path. In fact I live in a flat with my hubby and have 2 temporary jobs! Not exactly what I pictured my life to be at 30 years old.

I’m not saying I’m disappointed.  In fact it’s the opposite.  I honestly don’t think I would change a thing in my life (except for 1 of my current jobs that is!).  Life has been very good to me.  I love my husband deeply and we may as well still be newlyweds despite 6 years marriage behind us.  My flat is awesome and the perfect base for my life and no responsibilities means I can do pretty much whatever I want when I want, and I do!  We don’t have a lot of money but the lack of kids and cars etc. means that the little we do have can be used for pure indulgence.  Not bad eh?

The night of my birthday itself was amazing.  Utterly fantastic friends joined me for a meal and some pretty amazing karaoke antics before hitting (literally, my husband is still bruised) the deserted dance floor.  My Mum also came over for a visit and we had an amazing few days. A great great birthday. My house is still brimming with flowers from friends and family and I got some really amazing presents.  Thank you for making it so special.

Since then I’ve also experienced my first ice hockey match (which I’m sure I’ll blog about), had latin ballroom dance classes and some sing a long fun at the cinema.  So not the grown up life I’d expected at all.

A few of my friends are approaching the same birthday with as much horror as I was.  But just let me reassure you, it’s not so bad after all. 

I know I’m going to have to face the adult world eventually but I’m hoping it will hold out now until my 40^th!  That gives me 10 more years of random hobbies.  Bring it on . . .

That's Christmas Sorted Then

There's few things I like more than browsing the net for random purchases for people.  With Christmas coming up i'm able to indulge in quirky browsing til my hearts content. 

Today however i've found the perfect, discreet gift for any curry lovers out there.  I hope you like it as much as I do . . .

Soothing & Moisturising Wet Wipe Toilet Tissues

I found them here.  Go on, show someone you care.

Movember - A Close Encounter

Well it’s officially November and with that begins the annual event of many men growing moustaches for charity. ‘Movember’ as it’s been dubbed means that the men involved don’t shave for the whole month, producing a surge of fine, rugged, men with facial hair roaming the streets in aid of charity.

Now that’s great. I’m all for charity. However when my husband approached me with the idea that he would join his moustachioed comrades in this endeavour I was very reluctant indeed.

It’s not that I’m opposed to facial hair. It’s just that as I turn 30 in the next few days I know that there will be a lot of photographic evidence of this horrific event. Shallow perhaps but I’m afraid I would rather my husband didn’t look like Tom Selleck in the photos.

However not one to be deterred he pressed his right to sport some facial hair. After some discussion we’ve come to a compromise. He’s going to not shave until my birthday then I can decide if it’s photographically acceptable. If not I’m afraid he has to shave it off and start from scratch (pun very much intended) the following day. I think that’s fair. After all, it’s my party and I’ll ban lip fuzz if I want too.

Men (or Women of a certain ilk) if this has intrigued you and you too want to take part then check out the website. It’s quite cool actually - Official Movember Website .