A Million Tones of Rage

Only 2 months ago I expressed my horror at the rise in literary erotica.  Now look what you all went and did...

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, in a cave, at the bottom of the sea, you’ll have noticed that the world seems to have gone buck daft for a series of 'books' called “Fifty Shades of Grey” or, as I shall be referring to them from now on, “Fifty Shades of Shite (Shame on You)”. 

Let me make it clear from the start, this is a very biased, uninformed rant. I haven’t read the ‘books’ and I won’t be reading the ‘books’. The reasons I haven’t submitted to the particular charms of "The Fifty Shades of Shite (Shame on You)" trilogy are manifold and include: 

1. I don’t tend to read porn 
2. I definitely don’t read porn than started life as a Twilight fanfiction! 
3. I don’t particularly enjoy reading books that haven’t been edited. 
4. I definitely don’t enjoy reading non edited twilight porn that promotes sexually submissive relationships to tweens that have simply run out of copies of Robert Pattison’s Unauthorised Biography to paw over. 

There are other reasons but I think I’ll stick to those for now. 

If you do happen to have been living under a rock, in a cave, at the bottom of the sea, then let me enlighten you a little. From the many many many reviews, facebook status updates, tweets, and blogs posts I have skimmed and skipped, I have sketched the following brief synopsis:

“50 Shades of Shite (Shame on You)” is a Mills & Boon (aka Granny Porn) style ‘book’ that charts the romantic relationship of a multibillionaire entrepreneur (Christian Grey) and a shy young virgin girl. Unfortunately love is never straight forward is it? Yes, our devilishly handsome, unfathomably rich, brooding hero has a bit of a quirk. He just so happens to be heavily into S&M and submissive relationships. 

Never fear, our beautiful Adonis, with the extremely large wallet can easily take care of that pesky virginity thing so our couple can get down to the real stuff of true relationships . Bring on the gag!  Whips and chains can still lead to a loving relationship however. You know as long as you shut the fuck up and do what you’re told. 

I’m well aware that I shouldn’t judge what I haven’t read but you know what? I don’t need to read something to know that’s it not my thing. I don’t read erotica, I never have. It’s not that I object to sex in books. I just don’t read books for sexual titillation. So erotica has never appealed to me. Also, from (the admittedly little) erotica I have had the misfortune to read, the quality leans towards the bleeding awful. 

These ‘books’ appear to be nothing more than porn for bored housewives and the tweens of ‘generation sex’ who consider themselves so sexually forward they idolise a virgin vampire that refuses to sleep with his girlfriend until they are married (also, he might you know, break her). Yep, way to push the limits next generation. 

Like I said, I have no problem with sex in books what I have a problem with is shite writing making it to the top of best seller list. What I have a problem with is friends approaching me with “Hey, you read books. Have you read these Christian Grey books, they’re amazing?” A very special mention here to the lovely friend who approached me yesterday with “Hey have you read these Fifty Shades of Grey books? I was reading it last night and thought of you. I thought God, Elaine would hate this”. Mystery friend, I love you for that. 

One thing that I have found strange about the whole phenomena is why people are admitting to  reading them? As far I am aware most women of my acquaintance are not spending their evenings reading Mills & Boon, so why these? I admit they’ve got appealing covers but so has 'The Sisters Brothers' (and I guarantee you it’s a much better read). Also, didn't sexual proclivities use to be a private thing?  Did I miss the memo that stated all sexual desires must be acknowledged, in detail on my Facebook timeline?

Anyway, I have to admit I feel better for getting that off my chest. I can maybe face the world (and eventually Facebook) for having ranted. All that’s left to say is if you have been affected by any of the issues raised in today’s post, then there is a solution … 

HAVE SOME SEX. It’s clearly been too long for you.

21st Century Withdrawal

Horror of almighty horrors! Last week my mobile phone broke.  I worked out it wasn’t working quite quickly but it took the guy in Carphone Warehouse about 40 minutes to declare that yes, indeed it was having issues and would have to be sent away for repair. 

I was advised that while it could take up to 28 days it would probably only be 2-3 weeks.  Not a problem I thought, I’m a grown up and can surely survive a few weeks without my phone.  Besides, I was getting a ‘courtesy’ phone so all would be right in the world.  Then the young lad produced my courtesy phone, or as I have christened it, ‘the beast’.   

Turns out my courtesy phone is well, just that, a phone.  I can call people and if I have a half hour to spare I can also contemplate sending a text.  No games, no internet, and no social media.  As I walked out of the shop I had a moment of realisation.  My life was on my phone.  My diary, all my contacts, pictures of very random stuff, not to mention my Twitter, Facebook, email and random notes of interest (or at least to me).   What the hell was I going to do?

The first couple of days are always the hardest.  Quitting the world of modern mobile living proved surprisingly difficult.  So I’m laying my shame aside and offering a brief insight into my suffering:

Days 1-2 Denial: A low point. I kept randomly picking ‘the beast’ up to check e-mail, twitter or some other such thing only to remember that it won’t do any of it.  Days 1 & 2 also saw me resorting to randomly pressing buttons because I couldn’t do anything else. Also kept going to take photos of things only to realise I had no camera!

Day 3 Anger: “What am I going to do with this?”, “This fecking thing is going out the window”,  “You pile of shite” all common phrases uttered many times on day 3.

Day 4 Bargaining: This was possibly the lowest point and included a phonecall to Orange to see how much it would cost to get out of my contract, browsing the net for temporary replacement phones and some rather shameless husband flirtation to try and wrangle his phone from him.

Day 5 Depression: “My social life is over” 

Day 6-7 Acceptance: You know what?  It’s not too bad.  Me and ‘the beast’ are rubbing along nicely together.  He’s not a bad sort and in fact I’d even say I’m beginning to like the little fella.  He’s never needed charged and he has yet to send an inappropriate text to the wrong person.  Also, I’m quite enjoying being free from the social media world.  It’s peaceful now. 

So there you go.  If you find yourself disconnected from the 21^st century it might bring some sort of consolation to know you’re not alone.  

While the beast is proving to be a reliable and trustworthy companion I am looking forward to getting my old phone back.  At least for now I can relax and enjoy my time removed from the modern world.

One question that the whole saga has brought up though is at what point in my life did I become so reliant on technology?  I'll have to remember to Google that when I get my old phone back.

NB : There may be some traces of sarcasm in this post

Rekindled Passion

In case I haven’t mentioned it, I own a Kindle.  Not only that, I LOVE my Kindle.  While I was initially sceptical that I wouldn't be satisfied with anything other than a book in my hand, it seems I was very wrong and the Kindle is King. 

If sales of ebooks are anything to go by then the rest of the world also loves their kindles, although for very different reasons than me it seems.  

It appears that e-readers have sparked a rise in the sales of erotica (or for those kidding themselves 'romance novels').  While I understand the anonymity of a kindle means you can sit on the train reading anything you want without anyone judging you the question in my mind remains why?  Seriously, why?

You don’t need to look at amazon’s top Kindle books list for long before you encounter a bare chest or straining bosom.  You know, this kind of thing:

Now I’m not a prude in anyway (at least I don’t think I am) but I can think of nothing worse than reading badly written sex scenes (as somewhat documented here) .  

There’s the old saying “never judge a book by a cover” but I think in this case it’s perfectly acceptable to do precisely that.  Really people?  I understand everyone has different tastes but for the love of God show some sort of discernment!  

Just before Christmas I received an Amazon wishlist from someone (that appears relatively normal on the outside) that was brimming with this kind of crap.  Needless to say they didn’t get it.  The thought of spending money on it makes me shudder but it seems I’m in the minority here.    As much as it pains me to say it this kind of erotica appears to be staying.

Anyway I thought I would provide you with a brief rule of thumb when sending me Amazon wishlists; if it looks like it heaving, sighing, or engorged I won’t be buying it for you.  You’ll get this instead The Art of Discernment: Making Good Decisions in Your World ofChoices.

Happy reading!

Flight of Fancy

Despite what you may think, I don’t really watch an awful lot of TV.  I have a selection of shows that I watch on a weekly basis but on the whole that’s it.  However what I do watch, I tend to love and stick with.  True Blood, Weeds and a show that is rapidly becoming a mild obsession of mine, Flight of the Conchords.  

Now if you have never witnessed or heard of Flight of the Conchords (which is quite possible), let me explain…

Flight of the Conchords are a two  man New Zealand ‘novelty’ band that have also created a TV show parodying themselves. You with me so far? 

The TV show is a very low budget musical comedy about the two guys (Brett & Jermaine) living in New York trying to make something of the band .  They have hired a manager in the form of Murray, who works for the New Zealand consulate in New York.  A job that gives him plenty of free time to mismanage them.  

As well as Murray the band have a fan.  Yep, that’s right, one fan, Mel and a friend (of sorts) who part owns the local pawn shop. 

Any and every member of the cast can (and will) burst into song at any given moment which in my world, is just magic!  The songs tend to parody  a particular artist or genre. We’ve had Prince, Bowie, Pet Shop Boys, Opera and an entire episode based on West Side Story. 

Rather obscure and entirely weird, most people look at me sympathetically when I mention this love of mine.  So you can imagine how happy I was to hear that Brett has just won an Oscar for best song!  OK it’s not a Conchords song BUT it is a Muppet's song which is almost as good and it's a vindication of sorts!

The song, "Man or Muppet" is a gem and rather addictive so I won't post a link to the video or you'll be singing "am I man or am I Muppet" for the next few weeks.

Anyway there really isn't much point to this post apart from the share my love of the Conchords and try to force you to check them out.  I leave now with one of personal favourites from the show, "If You're Into It":

Sky's the Limit

If you, like me are one of the people who has sold their soul to the Murdoch empire and have Sky TV installed in your home then I hope you share my frustration.

With the introduction of the fantastic Sky Atlantic, Sky is getting shows in line (pretty much) with them being aired in America.  A fantastic thing you might cry.  About time, praise be & hallelujah.  Unfortunately though I've found a bit of a glitch in this fantastic plan of theirs. You see it turns out American TV scheduling it frickin crazy!

A series of 12 episodes would run for 12 weeks you'd imagine.  Allow a couple of weeks for holidays etc. and you're probably looking at a 14 week run, in this, the sensible land of TV scheduling.  America though ....

Well lets take for instance, the fabulous "The Walking Dead". Series 2 of this great show started in Oct. Next Friday we are privileged enough to be presented with .......... episode 8!  Yes ladies & gentlemen, that's four months and we've had 7 episodes.

You see we had a couple of weeks off for thanksgiving and then over a month for the Christmas period.  Don't worry though we were left on a cliffhanger after mid season finale!

MID SEASON FINALE?!?! What the f*ck is that? I'm not entirely sure it's possible to have an ENDING HALF WAY THROUGH!

So what's the alternative.  Well if Sky returned to normal it would mean we would be about 9 months to a year behind US schedules but is that such a bad thing?
Actually yes, yes it is.  One of my favourite shows (as I may have mentioned previously) is True Blood.  It's been forever since series 4 aired in the US and I have been frantically trying to avoid spoilers since then.  Thankfully though series 4 started on Sky this week  and what a corker it was.

We had fairies, witches, a shape shifter anger management meeting and what appears to be a demonic baby decapitating Barbie dolls!  That's just bloody amazing.

As for the scheduling debacle.  I really don't know what's best.  Wait and watch like a normal person or put up with schizophrenic American scheduling.  As I intend to watch episode 8 of Walking Dead I think I've made my decision already. I'm still allowed to complain though, right?

Ps. I'm ridiculously proud of the title of this particular post!

Comedy Dickabout

The fabulous Rhod Gilbert hosts a monthly "Comedy Playground" (rebranded by Rhod after only 2 nights as Comedy Dickabout) at The Globe in Cardiff.  The  lovely RoathCardiff.net asked me to write a review of last months show and lo and behold you can find it here!


If you live in or just happen to be around Cardiff. I heartily suggest going!

Can't Put A Good Read Down

In between painting and covering everything in the house with masking tape, I've been doing but one thing.... Posting on Good Reads .

Good Reads is a community of book lovers, writers and readers that I seem to have become addicted to.  The one drawback I've encountered so far however is that I've been on there talking about books so much that I haven't actually been reading! A slight problem I admit.

However it does mean I can do things like this.....

Elaine's bookshelf: currently-reading

The Descendants

by Kaui Hart Hemmings

Look, I Made a Hat: Collected Lyrics (1981-2011) with Attendant Comments, Amplifications, Dogmas, Harangues, Wafflings, Anecdotes and Misc

by Stephen Sondheim

Ah the magic of the internet! Anyway if you, like me, want to shun your friends and become a sad internet recluse I suggest you sign up!  Oh and liking books may also be of benefit.

There May Be Trouble Ahead

Well ladies and gentlemen, it has been a while hasn't it?  I am in fact still here and still breathing. Life*, Work** & sheer laziness*** have kept me from keeping you informed of my comings and goings.  With that in mind then it's clearly got to be something really special to have lured me back onto my poor neglected blog and boy would you be right.  Yes world, It appears I have a new musical love.

If you know my father (and I know some of you do) you'll know 4 things about him:

1. His hair is just crazy (to the point of madness)
2. He's amazing (to the point of madness)
3. He's fair (to the point madness) 
4. He can sense whether something is great, or shite, in about 2 seconds flat

Now I'm not claiming to have inherited all of these characteristics but two I definitely have.  Point 4 thankfully is one of them.  I know virtually instantly if I'm going to love or hate something, especially when it comes to music.  As an example, when I was 18 I once bought three albums by an artist based on a 5 second snippet of song I heard on a TV programme.  After listening to them, I was vindicated and in fact still own (and listen to) the three albums today.

I can't even count how many times my husband has scolded me for spontaneously downloading albums in the middle of things, based on snippets of songs I've overheard.  I stand by it though.  I've rarely, if ever, been wrong!  My latest find however is a real corker.

Sky Arts played sets from most of the major festivals this year and one of the sets included a couple of songs from soul rock band Vintage Trouble.  After about 30 seconds I turned to Bryan and decreed that they were good.  A few minutes later I had acquired the album and my great taste in music was celebrated by one by all (well, me and Bry mostly). Also, as luck would have it they were coming to Cardiff in Dec and better than that tickets were £9.  Bloody marvellous!

The concert was on Monday 19th December at the Glee Club and my God was it good.  Put quite simply, this was one of the best gigs I've ever been to.

The BEST concert I've ever been to was Prince.  An absolutely mind blowing performance from one of the greatest (irregardless of whether you love or loathe him) musicians in the world. Stiff competition for a band from LA that's been together for less than 2 years. In all honesty though, they're not too far behind!

The lead singer Ty Taylor has a voice that simply makes you want to lick everything in the room.  Note perfect and smoother than a cashmere codpiece he damn near hypnotises you.  Nalle Colt on guitars is a marvel.  There's a guitar solo towards the end of  'Run Outta You' that makes you want to drop to your knees ( in prayer people, in prayer).  Richard Danielson on drums and Rick Barrio Dill on Bass are also just incredible.

Thanks to the drunken dancing of one of our little party of 5 (I'm too nice to mention names) we managed to secure a surprisingly large dance floor for such a small venue and took full advantage of it.  In fact I danced so hard I couldn't actually bend my knees for a full 24hours after.  Physical injury, a sign of a good concert if ever there was one.

I always feel it's a great privilege to see great talent on the way up.  I have no doubt that Vintage Trouble are going to become huge.  Next time we get to see them in Cardiff I expect the band (and venue), will be much bigger.

A friend who had already seen the band said to me "I thought they were great musicians with great stage presence, but I didn't think that their songs are as good as the ones in their record collections". A rather smart and funny comment I thought and yes, I can see there's some truth to it.  The band have some very clear influences and with those in mind, some bloody big shoes to fill.  Give them a few years though. I've no doubt they'll get there.  I for one shall be watching them very closely.

Now as to the second quality i've inherited from my dad.  I'll let you decide.

I leave you now with Vintage Trouble on Jools Holland.  Enjoy!

*     Twitter
**   Twitter
*** Not Twitter

From Scientific Appeal to Scientific Apparel

Well, it seems I'm not so strange after all.  Further to my post on sexy science, I now give you 'exhibit A' ladies and gentlemen: 

This t-shirt made me laugh so much I actually stopped breathing momentarily.  Don't worry though, I'm fine (physically, if not mentally).

Despite it's entertainment value, I won't be buying it. Partly because I would struggle to fit a single boob into it but also, and more importantly, because I'm not sure I want to declare this particular love to the streets of Cardiff just yet.  

Is It a Bird, Is It a Plane?

It's a Northern Ireland bread delivery van of course.

This was chased down by my Mum in my hometown of Carrickfergus.  Possibly the best bread delivery van in the world.

Ophelia Nightly is Back

It's time for the gloves and hats to resurface. Yes, hoorah & hazah burlesque is back baby.

From next week i'm back in my utterly fabulous burlesque class and shall be shimmying & shaking all the way. Not only is it back but it's moved pretty darn close to my house so no more wandering the streets looking like a cast off from Fame.

I'm sure to have lots of fun and humiliating exploits to report back on.  And hey, any girls out there wanting to join me on my follies adventure just let me know. Group humiliation is the only kind worth doing after all. 

You can read about my ongoing burlesque incidents in my previous posts, Von Teese Me andThe Continued Misadventures of Lany B D'Lamour.

In honour of such a fabulous thing I shall be spending my evening watching Cabaret and trying not to fall off my chair while copying the Mein Herr routine. You have been warned.    

Oh and if you'd like to know how Ophelia Nightly came about you can always read, Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself.

Big Brother, I'm Watching You

Well it's happened.  For some mysterious reason I've been lured into watching Big Brother for the first time since the original show back in 2000.  Actually to be honest, it's not such a mystery.  It may have something to do with this man, Bobby Sabel:

Beautiful but Boring Bobby

Please believe me though when I tell you, beautiful Bob has turned out to be quite possibly one of the most boring people I've ever witnessed on TV. Thank God he's pretty!

The pervert in me aside, I've actually found the show very very amusing.  I don't know if all the Big Brothers have been like this but the show has turned out to be a goldmine of quips and phrases.  Personal favourites so far include. 

"I had them done because I wanted them to look natural"  - Amy Childs in reference to why she had her boob job

"That's a bollocks of a body you have there" - Paddy 

"It's not about what car you have.  It's about how much money you've got" - Kerry (jokingly) to Lucien on love and relationships

So far though, the ultimate phrase is courtesy of Ms Katona. She wins my unending respect for the following classic: 

"I was shaking like a shitting dog" - Kerry Katona. 

Well done Kerry, I shall be slipping this into conversations from now on. 

Disco Inferno

Well last week my hubby and I (and a couple of eager friends) went to Clwb Ifor Bach for our first Silent Disco.  A fabulous night of manic dancing, name that tune and mime was had by all.

I'll be honest, it was little weird initially.  Walking into a quiet, crowded room of people pulling some (quite frightening) moves on the dance floor is quite a spectacle! Fun but weird.  Anyway it didn't take long to get into the groove and soon we were all up making arses of ourselves like the rest of them.

The only thing wrong was the heat.  Clubs generally, are sweltering places. I understand that.  This however,  was in a world of it's own!  I don't know whether it's down to all extra electronics required for the 'silent disco' or what but the heat was unreal.

Sweat was literally puddling on the floors and tables by the time we called a halt to the evenings frivolities.  When we oozed down the stairs and out to the fresh air we realised everyone had been suffering the same.  Little groups of people where standing outside sucking in great wafts of air.  No one looked in disgust at our soaked clothes and dripping faces as they all looked as bad as we did.

All in all though it was a tremendous night.  We'll definitely be going back.  This time however we'll be prepared for the heat.  I wonder if it will show my age if I bring one of those little battery powered fans?! Hmm.  

Weaslaphobia Part 2

I've discussed on here before just how much I loathe getting my haircut (you can read that post here).  Well it seems I'm not alone, as this little rant from David Mitchell proves. 

You Might Be On To Something There

As I may have mentioned, I adore Stephen Sondheim and his shows. While watching his celebration DVD recently my husband came out with the following, scarily accurate, analysis of Sondheim's career:

 "Looks like he didn't do any of his good stuff until he grew his beard"

 He has a point you know! 

Sondheim in a 'good' period

This Book Will Change Your Life

As you may well know, I'm rather a fan of musicals and for the last two weeks I have been completely and utterly obsessed with a brand new musical called 'The Book of Mormon'. 

Created by the people behind South Park and the guy behind the absolutely hysterical Avenue Q, you can imagine what kind of show this is.

The plot is simple.  Two missionaries (you know, the young, good looking American kids that knock on your door at tea time and try to tell you about Jesus) get sent to a village in Uganda in the hopes that they can convert the rather jaded population to The Church of Jesus Chris of Latter Day Saints. The villagers they encounter are cynical to say the least.  They have some very real & scary issues not to mention a warlord to contend with.  They feel God has turned His back on them and so they have forsaken Him. 

So how do two young Mormons go about converting these people? Well one of them decides he can do a lot more good in Orlando and the other decides to simply make stuff up.  In order to get the people to listen he makes the book a lot more relevant to his audience (adding elements of Star Trek & Lord of the Rings while he's at it).  The moral implications of these scriptural changes are neatly debated in the song 'You're Making Things Up Again'. 

When the villagers come to see that this religion speaks to their problems, they start to come round and eventually convert.  There's a fantastically funny track at this point called 'Baptise Me' which plays like a love song and contains the rather unsubtle (yet very funny) lines “I've been dowsed by the Heavenly Father” and “I'm wet with salvation”. 

My favourite lines in the whole show however are the following:

“I'm gonna take you back to biblical times, 1823”

&

“I believe that in 1978 God changed His mind about black people”

One of the best songs in the whole show is called “Turn It Off”. This is a dangerously catchy little number about how to keep those awkward homosexual feelings at bay.  Word of advice though, never ever listen to it on a bus.  I laughed out loud for 5 minutes straight.

With the creatives in mind it would be easy to dismiss this show out of hand as offensive and blasphemous but that's simply unfair.  Yes, it's shocking and does point out some of the more peculiar aspects of the religion but the overall feeling of the show is one of affection.  Despite the atheist beliefs of practically everyone involved in the show, there's a heart-warming feeling about it and ultimately it says that there is a place for faith, even in the most awful of circumstances. 

If you're open minded (and a fan of musicals) I can not recommend this enough.  Some of the subject matter is unpalatable to say the least but taken in the spirit it's intended, I don't think you can help but be charmed by this show.

I have a feeling I'm going to be listening to it for a long time to come.   If you've got 5 minutes check out the inspired performance of Andrew Rannells singing 'I Believe' at the Tonys where the show took home 9 awards!

Jesus Said "Let the Children Come to Me"

Well if this old Irish schoolbook is anything to go by, it appears God is a bit more selective:

 

For the Enthusiast in Your Life

I came across this book the other day and couldn't really believe my eyes. Now I'm sorry, but surely there's something a little bit wrong with you if you buy a cookbook for your cats? I can barely be bothered cooking for my husband and I, yet alone a pet! I imagine though that if you are the kind of person to buy this then the probability is you have no one else to look after! Like this poor girl in her disastrous dating video perhaps?

The main reason for this post however is that this little book, strange as it is, reminded me of another classic I came across a couple of years ago. If you think that anyone cooking for their pets is a little unusual what kind of person do you think owns a copy of this:

Yes.  It is indeed a make your own sex toys book.  To get a full appreciation of this book please please have a 'look inside'.  

My particular favourite is the knitted gimp mask.  Why fork out for costly and uncomfortable PVC when you can create your own gimp mask from wool?  And honestly, What could be more versatile than the 'cat of as many tales as you want'?

I'm guessing the author of this book had his tongue firmly in cheek, no pun intended, while writing this, as had some of the reviewers for the product.  We can laugh but remember people, as the book says:

"...it's not just for loners. Making your own can help put the magic back into even the most jaded relationships"

The Boys Are Back In Town

Joy of joys, last night the new series of Supernatural began. In case you happen to have missed this gem of a show, Supernatural is about two seriously beautiful brothers, Sam & Dean, who go around saving the world from supernatural, mythical and religious beings.

Dean, Sam & Castiel (an Angel of course!)

Last season for instance, they took on the devil.  Not without consequence I might add. Poor Sam got inhabited by the spirit of Lucifer and alas, got turned into a ferociously camp version of the man from Del Monte. Then, when he finally regained his sense of style and heterosexuality he got trapped in hell!!! That has to make you feel better about your working day surely?

So this series is mega exciting. From the trailer it seems Sam has escaped from hell and is now some sort of uber buff blood drinking womaniser. YES! That sounds all kinds of good to me.

Now let’s not forget the other brother. I call him ‘consistently hot Dean’. Dean’s been to hell once before you see (and heaven in fact) but has remained gorgeous and quipping at all times, thank goodness.

Ok, so this isn't particularly challenging stuff, but it’s fun, good looking and quite scary at times.  There's also a lot of Christian mythology in later seasons which make for some very interesting viewing and of course we have ever impending Armageddon. Hurrah! It’s the ultimate TV show. 
 

With last night’s episode safely recorded on Sky + I shall be settling down this evening to a little bit of the Supernatural  boys thank you very much! I’m sure I’ll be reporting back.

Run Forrest Run

Well this week I’ve finally got off my rather ample arse and started doing “Couch to 5K”.  In case you don’t know, this is a scheme to get people up and running.  The idea is a simple one.  It’s a ten week programme and you are supposed to run 3 times a week with various intervals of walking and running which increases week on week. 
 
Week 1 for example looks very easy on paper.  You do an initial 5 minute warm-up walk, run for a minute, then walk for a minute & half.  This then repeats for 25 minutes.  That seems quite straightforward to me.

Full of motivation my hubby and I decided this was the week we were going to do it.  The alarm was set for 06.30 on Monday for us to get our run done before work.  Simples yes?

Oh dear God how wrong I was.  Running it transpires, is just plain horrible.  Seriously, it’s evil.  I thought I was going to die, throw up or do both at the same time. That’s not to mention my poor poor feet.  It really is not for me.

Unfortunately in these austere times, running is in fact about the only form of exercise I can afford to do. I love playing squash, tennis and adore swimming but it’s not cheap to do these things, especially 3 times a weeks.  So unfortunately it seems me and the bloodied stumps that were my feet are stuck with it for now. I’ll give it another week or two. To be fair, it can only improve.