Ophelia Nightly is Back

It's time for the gloves and hats to resurface. Yes, hoorah & hazah burlesque is back baby.

From next week i'm back in my utterly fabulous burlesque class and shall be shimmying & shaking all the way. Not only is it back but it's moved pretty darn close to my house so no more wandering the streets looking like a cast off from Fame.

I'm sure to have lots of fun and humiliating exploits to report back on.  And hey, any girls out there wanting to join me on my follies adventure just let me know. Group humiliation is the only kind worth doing after all. 

You can read about my ongoing burlesque incidents in my previous posts, Von Teese Me andThe Continued Misadventures of Lany B D'Lamour.

In honour of such a fabulous thing I shall be spending my evening watching Cabaret and trying not to fall off my chair while copying the Mein Herr routine. You have been warned.    

Oh and if you'd like to know how Ophelia Nightly came about you can always read, Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself.

Disco Inferno

Well last week my hubby and I (and a couple of eager friends) went to Clwb Ifor Bach for our first Silent Disco.  A fabulous night of manic dancing, name that tune and mime was had by all.

I'll be honest, it was little weird initially.  Walking into a quiet, crowded room of people pulling some (quite frightening) moves on the dance floor is quite a spectacle! Fun but weird.  Anyway it didn't take long to get into the groove and soon we were all up making arses of ourselves like the rest of them.

The only thing wrong was the heat.  Clubs generally, are sweltering places. I understand that.  This however,  was in a world of it's own!  I don't know whether it's down to all extra electronics required for the 'silent disco' or what but the heat was unreal.

Sweat was literally puddling on the floors and tables by the time we called a halt to the evenings frivolities.  When we oozed down the stairs and out to the fresh air we realised everyone had been suffering the same.  Little groups of people where standing outside sucking in great wafts of air.  No one looked in disgust at our soaked clothes and dripping faces as they all looked as bad as we did.

All in all though it was a tremendous night.  We'll definitely be going back.  This time however we'll be prepared for the heat.  I wonder if it will show my age if I bring one of those little battery powered fans?! Hmm.  

Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Well ladies and gentlemen. After much debate I’ve finally settled on an identity for my new alter ego. And the winner is (drum roll please) . . . . .

Ophelia Nightly.

I love it. It’s cute, naughty and manages to avoid all S&M connotations. Phew. Also, it works quite well with my Irish accent and means that I can stock up on midnight blue corsetry.  Hurrah! It’s a win win.

As for its origin, well, in a rather intriguing turn of events, one of my colleagues produced the name from his head after about 2 seconds of consideration. I’m very grateful but also a little concerned as to how long, and why, this name has been drifting around in there. Still, ahem, lets not dwell on that!

I’d like to thank you for all the suggestions I received, some welcome, some umm well libellous! Mostly though, they made me laugh and who could ask for more than that?

You’ll be happy to know that the Vaudeville in my mind has gone into overdrive and I’m ready to take to the stage. Mentally that is, physically I still have quite a bit of work to do. Drat.

Keep watching this space though. Who knows what might lie ahead for Ophelia and I.

Last night in burlesque we tried our hand at bra peeling. It was a really fun but exhausting evening as we learnt to present and remove our bras in a routine that featured a shocking amount of smacking! Not my usual Tuesday night fare I assure you. Still, standing in a mirrored room of women wearing bras over their gym kit while smacking their arses, doesn’t seem too strange to me these days.

I’m loving life right now!

The Continued Misadventures of Lany B D'Lamour

Well last week I started my brand spanking new Ministry Of Burlesque accredited class. Yes you read that right, The Ministry of Burlesque. Having enjoyed my few taster sessions I'm now aiming to master the strut and peel.

Dressed like an extra from Fame my friend & I drove to our dance studio. Thirty minutes later as we pulled into a virtually abandoned industrial estate we had a moment of doubt. Was this really a good idea?

My fabulous new instructor (Miss Pretty S'vere!) taught us to slink and pose like Marilyn Monroe, a PussyCat doll or Weight Watcher of the week. To be honest, at this stage, most of my poses look more like belly pose 1, belly pose 2 & side belly pose. Still, with time (and a diet) I reckon I'll be able to pull it off.

Next week we start learning peels. Gloves on week 2 progressing to pants on week 6! Now I must admit this leaves me a little baffled as to what the following weeks will consist of as pants sort of seem like the limit of clothing removal to me (just to stop the inevitable nightmares, I will tell you now, I shan't be running round the studio in my scanties. Any clothing we remove is worn Superman style).

I must admit I'm loving the whole thing. It's so much fun and I've met some lovely people. In short it's got to be right up there in top ten things you can do while taking your clothes off.

Oh and apparently I also need a proper Burlesque name, most suggestions welcome!

Von Teese Me

This week I’ve had my first burlesque experience!

Im going to admit that the trip to The Italian Way for pizza, mixed with a couple of bottles of wine probably wasn’t the smartest way to start the evening but who knew burlesque in a local church would be so exhausting?

Despite my bravado I will admit to being a tad nervous about humiliating myself. As mentioned previously I am most definitely not Dita Von Teese and the only time I’ve shaken my boobs in public has been if the bus went over the speed bump too fast.

With all that in mind I have to confess I had a remarkable time, superb in fact. Madame FooFoo LaBelle made us all instantly relaxed and at ease besides, you’re focusing so much on her that you don’t even notice anyone else’s arse in your face. It was such a diverse group of shapes, sizes and ages that you didn’t really care if you ‘Shakira Shake’ looked more like ‘dying for the loo’*. No one was looking and no one cared.

Supposedly we picked a particularly difficult evening to begin our quest for our inner vamp but hey, we bloody well gave it a shot. Samba Rock was the routine of the evening which was full on samba with a touch of posing.

I learnt that my grasp of basic shapes leaves a lot to be desired with my ‘boxes’ ending up more like ‘triangles’. To be fair though I feel my ‘triangle’ trumped my poor friends ‘pentagon’. None of that mattered though. You could have done a full blown ‘decagon’. As long as you did it with enthusiasm & flare you’d make it fit somehow.

Personally I think it was a fabulous experience and what a way to keep fit! A few more nights of that and I’ll be frolicking in a champagne glass in no time.

Next week it’s ‘Hey Big Spender’ and who can say no to that?  Minus the food and wine I think I'll give it a damn good shot!

By the way if anyone is interested or wants more information check out Burlesque Cardiff.

* My Shakira Shake was obviously perfect and would indeed put her to shame.