Ophelia Nightly is Back

It's time for the gloves and hats to resurface. Yes, hoorah & hazah burlesque is back baby.

From next week i'm back in my utterly fabulous burlesque class and shall be shimmying & shaking all the way. Not only is it back but it's moved pretty darn close to my house so no more wandering the streets looking like a cast off from Fame.

I'm sure to have lots of fun and humiliating exploits to report back on.  And hey, any girls out there wanting to join me on my follies adventure just let me know. Group humiliation is the only kind worth doing after all. 

You can read about my ongoing burlesque incidents in my previous posts, Von Teese Me andThe Continued Misadventures of Lany B D'Lamour.

In honour of such a fabulous thing I shall be spending my evening watching Cabaret and trying not to fall off my chair while copying the Mein Herr routine. You have been warned.    

Oh and if you'd like to know how Ophelia Nightly came about you can always read, Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself.

2010

Never has a year flown by as quickly as 2010 seemed too. I still partially believe that I must have passed out for 6 months of it as it seems the only explanation for the sheer speed with which it passed. Still it was an excellent year. In fact I would maybe even put it down as one of my best years. Here are some of the things I’m very thankful for in 2010.

In no particular order:

• Family – 2010 was a great year for my family as my sister finally got her finger out and got married to her lovely boyfriend of God knows how many years.

• Friends – It was the year I turned 30 and some of my best friends were with me to celebrate/commiserate. I had an absolutely superb night. 2010 also saw Miss Rainy finally make her way to the land of leeks! A feat which may in fact be repeated again in 2011!

• My Husband – I’m not going to get too sloppy here as I don’t really do that but for Christmas 2010 my husband gave me a printed copy of a story he used to tell me on the phone during our long distance relationship days . The work that went into is incredible and I love it. It’s perfect.

• Work – One of my jobs I adore. I have quite possibly the best set of colleagues I’ve ever worked with and I actually like what we do. I’m very grateful for the role but alas it comes to an end soon. The other job is not so good. While the organisation I work with does great work, my actual day to day working life is dull to say the least. Still, I’m thankful I have work at all!

• Music – I’ve attended some great concerts in 2010 the highlight of which was 30 Seconds To Mars (possibly the best concert I’ve ever been too) with the super hot Jared Leto. Another highlight, although somewhat different, was Tim Minchin with an orchestra at the CIA in December. I laughed, cried and laughed again. More fab concerts are already lined up for 2011!

• Holiday - I had a weekend away with friends in 2010 which in itself may not seem like much but when you factor in that, apart from visiting family, I haven’t had a holiday in 6 years, you’ll understand why it’s a highlight.

• Acceptance - I’m a very positive person generally but my god can I be negative about myself sometimes. 2010 was the year I think I finally learnt to accept myself and not be so flipping self conscious all the time. I thank, age, wisdom and burlesque for that! I’m still overly self conscious but hey, it’s a start!

• Ophelia Nightly – 2010 was the year I started slinking and strutting by joining a Burlesque class. It’s been hugely enjoyable, rather educational and it’s increased my confidence phenomenally. I really hope to continue in 2011. I don’t think I can stress enough how much more confidence it has given me and I’m so grateful for that.

• True Blood – It’s now an undeniable truth that I am obsessed with True Blood. It’s funny, sexy and gory. What else do you want? 2010 was the year Eric Northman got HOT and Jason Stackhouse joined the ‘Light Of Day Institute’. What followed made for some of the most enjoyable TV I’ve ever seen. If you’re not already, be smart and go watch.

• Blu-Ray - Thank you 2010 for True Blood in blu-ray. More specifically thank you for giving me Eric Northman, Jason Stackhouse, Sam Merlotte & Eggs in 42inch glorious high definition! Praise the Lord!

• Dry Shampoo – I’m finally free from the constraints of washing, drying and then straightening my hair every single flipping day of my life thanks to this little miracle.

• Spontaneity – 2010 has been full of spontaneous acts (either by me or others) which made it unpredictable and hugely enjoyable.

• My Blog – In January 2010 I started my blog. While I may be a little erratic with my updates I have tried to keep in updated reasonably regularly. I don’t know if anyone actually reads it & enjoys it but I enjoy writing it (and it gives me something to do!).

All in all it’s been a great, fun year and I’m keeping my fingers crossed that 2011 will continue in a similar vein.

Please Allow Me To Introduce Myself

Well ladies and gentlemen. After much debate I’ve finally settled on an identity for my new alter ego. And the winner is (drum roll please) . . . . .

Ophelia Nightly.

I love it. It’s cute, naughty and manages to avoid all S&M connotations. Phew. Also, it works quite well with my Irish accent and means that I can stock up on midnight blue corsetry.  Hurrah! It’s a win win.

As for its origin, well, in a rather intriguing turn of events, one of my colleagues produced the name from his head after about 2 seconds of consideration. I’m very grateful but also a little concerned as to how long, and why, this name has been drifting around in there. Still, ahem, lets not dwell on that!

I’d like to thank you for all the suggestions I received, some welcome, some umm well libellous! Mostly though, they made me laugh and who could ask for more than that?

You’ll be happy to know that the Vaudeville in my mind has gone into overdrive and I’m ready to take to the stage. Mentally that is, physically I still have quite a bit of work to do. Drat.

Keep watching this space though. Who knows what might lie ahead for Ophelia and I.

Last night in burlesque we tried our hand at bra peeling. It was a really fun but exhausting evening as we learnt to present and remove our bras in a routine that featured a shocking amount of smacking! Not my usual Tuesday night fare I assure you. Still, standing in a mirrored room of women wearing bras over their gym kit while smacking their arses, doesn’t seem too strange to me these days.

I’m loving life right now!

Why Must I Be A (Perpetual) Teenager In Love?

When you think of schlock 50's teen movies you'd be forgiven for thinking of Grease first.  I can assure you however that if Grease tops your list then you've missed out on the masterpiece that is Cry Baby.  

Starring a very young (and hot) Johnny Depp I still adore this movie!  Having keenly followed Johnny in 21 Jump Street this film only fanned my rather large crush on Mr Johnny Depp. 

Recently however I've been reintroduced to the film thanks to burlesque class.  I literally jumped for joy when I found out that our main dance routine was to be done the track 'Please Mr Jailer' from the movie! This led to an almighty urge to re-watch the film. So watch it I did . . . 

After all these years I'm very happy to say it didn't disappoint.  It's still as funny, corny and sexy as it was when I was 10 years old.  More impressive however is that Johnny Depp, 20 years later, continues to make my heart skip a couple of beats.

I'm convinced there is some sort of witchcraft involved.  How else would the man still be able to reduce me to the state of lovestruck teenager after all this time?  And he is getting hotter! There must be a Dorian Gray style portrait decaying in some locked attic room or a devil at a cross roads rubbing his hands in glee at the prospect of collecting on this one.  I'm not complaining.  Trust me, I'm happy to continue 'admiring' Johnny Depp for many decadent years to come but it would be nice to be able to maintain some sort of maturity while doing so.

As for burlesque, well last night we got to learn the first part of our 'Please Mr Jailer' routine.  It was a tremendous night and I'm loving the routine despite it being truly exhausting!  We were paired off in a showdown of 2 femme fatales begging for the release of their lover, all of which culminates in a 'shimmy off'.  Yep, you guessed it, I love my Tuesdays nights!  My hubby doesn't seem too put out by them either.  Go figure!

Check out 'Please Mr Jailer' below. 

The Continued Misadventures of Lany B D'Lamour

Well last week I started my brand spanking new Ministry Of Burlesque accredited class. Yes you read that right, The Ministry of Burlesque. Having enjoyed my few taster sessions I'm now aiming to master the strut and peel.

Dressed like an extra from Fame my friend & I drove to our dance studio. Thirty minutes later as we pulled into a virtually abandoned industrial estate we had a moment of doubt. Was this really a good idea?

My fabulous new instructor (Miss Pretty S'vere!) taught us to slink and pose like Marilyn Monroe, a PussyCat doll or Weight Watcher of the week. To be honest, at this stage, most of my poses look more like belly pose 1, belly pose 2 & side belly pose. Still, with time (and a diet) I reckon I'll be able to pull it off.

Next week we start learning peels. Gloves on week 2 progressing to pants on week 6! Now I must admit this leaves me a little baffled as to what the following weeks will consist of as pants sort of seem like the limit of clothing removal to me (just to stop the inevitable nightmares, I will tell you now, I shan't be running round the studio in my scanties. Any clothing we remove is worn Superman style).

I must admit I'm loving the whole thing. It's so much fun and I've met some lovely people. In short it's got to be right up there in top ten things you can do while taking your clothes off.

Oh and apparently I also need a proper Burlesque name, most suggestions welcome!

Alice, Alice, Who the F*ck Is Alice?

Well this week I’ve had my rather fabulous Mother over for a visit. Unlike most people I adore my parents coming to stay and we have a lot of fun. Over the last few days we’ve drunk too much, ate too much, walked too much and no doubt, spent too much. What could be better than a Tuesday afternoon spent sipping Champagne cocktails by the water, eh?

Apart from the wide variety of cocktails, one of the things we did was go to see Alice in Wonderland in 3D. If you haven’t seen it I would highly suggest you do.

The 3D is pretty damn stunning & the movie itself is just beautiful with one of the best casts I’ve seen in a long long time. Stephen Fry is sublime as the Cheshire Cat, Johnny Depp’s performance as the Mad Hatter is very touching & Anne Hathaway’s prissy White Queen made me laugh every time she was on screen.

Huge props to the young girl who plays Alice though. She was superb. I believe she was a complete unknown and yet she manages to hold her own in a rather spectacular cast. I imagine my performance in similar circumstances would have been a lot less accomplished & a lot more X rated (Johnny Depp still manages too look hot! How the hell does he do it?).

All in all it’s a fantastic film & if you get the chance, go see it, preferably in 3D!

As for my Mum, well she went home yesterday which is always depressing. However, spending the night dancing to Hey Big Spender in my latest Burlesque class helped ease the pain (metaphorically speaking. Physically my knees are killing me from ‘dippin it low’ all night).

Tonight I’m off to see Dirk Benedict from the A team aka The Face as Columbo.  I like my life.

Von Teese Me

This week I’ve had my first burlesque experience!

Im going to admit that the trip to The Italian Way for pizza, mixed with a couple of bottles of wine probably wasn’t the smartest way to start the evening but who knew burlesque in a local church would be so exhausting?

Despite my bravado I will admit to being a tad nervous about humiliating myself. As mentioned previously I am most definitely not Dita Von Teese and the only time I’ve shaken my boobs in public has been if the bus went over the speed bump too fast.

With all that in mind I have to confess I had a remarkable time, superb in fact. Madame FooFoo LaBelle made us all instantly relaxed and at ease besides, you’re focusing so much on her that you don’t even notice anyone else’s arse in your face. It was such a diverse group of shapes, sizes and ages that you didn’t really care if you ‘Shakira Shake’ looked more like ‘dying for the loo’*. No one was looking and no one cared.

Supposedly we picked a particularly difficult evening to begin our quest for our inner vamp but hey, we bloody well gave it a shot. Samba Rock was the routine of the evening which was full on samba with a touch of posing.

I learnt that my grasp of basic shapes leaves a lot to be desired with my ‘boxes’ ending up more like ‘triangles’. To be fair though I feel my ‘triangle’ trumped my poor friends ‘pentagon’. None of that mattered though. You could have done a full blown ‘decagon’. As long as you did it with enthusiasm & flare you’d make it fit somehow.

Personally I think it was a fabulous experience and what a way to keep fit! A few more nights of that and I’ll be frolicking in a champagne glass in no time.

Next week it’s ‘Hey Big Spender’ and who can say no to that?  Minus the food and wine I think I'll give it a damn good shot!

By the way if anyone is interested or wants more information check out Burlesque Cardiff.

* My Shakira Shake was obviously perfect and would indeed put her to shame.

Just Call Me Lany B L'Amour

Well after months of hmming & haahing I am finally booked to go to my first burlesque class next week.

The class promises to teach me some simple dance moves such as bumps, grinds, poses & walks. All this while under the fine tutelage of one Madame Foo Foo LaBelle!

Now people that know me would agree that I'm perhaps more suited to Hungry Hippos than Dita Von Teese but to hell with that.  I reckon I can strut my stuff with the rest of them.  I'm sure to be shaking my tail feather (literally), in no time at all.

Thankfully I wont be alone.  I've managed to persuade some hapless victims/friends to accompany me.  Now all I need is a Burlesque name & a drastic wardrobe overhall & i'm all set to shimmy & shake!

Forgive me world!