There’s A Man Works Down The Chip Shop Swears He’s Elvis

Recently I’ve been noticing that the general population are trying more & more to get ‘a celebrity look’. You can’t walk down the street without bumping into someone who is trying very hard to look like ‘somebody’.

I know this isn’t a new thing. We’ve been emulating famous people for years. In fact I once worked for a theatre company whose director looked exactly like Hitler! This wasn’t a mere coincidence; the look had very obviously been cultivated. Why I will never know!

Over the course of this weekend I noticed about six George Lambs, a dozen Zac Effrons & I’ve lost track of the number of Robert Pattisons that are currently patrolling the streets.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am more than happy to see hoards of any one of those guys stalking around. In fact, I think I would pay good money to witness such an event. My problem is simply that most of these wannabes don’t look anything like those guys & trust me, if you don’t get that Rob Pattison or George Lamb hair exactly right, you’re going to look like an escapee from an asylum.

What’s becoming very clear to me however is that it’s not the men choosing to do this. If you do spot one of these lookalikes there will undoubtedly be a smug girlfriend draped all over her handiwork thinking she’s created the new Zac.

All I want to say to these girls is that a skinny tie does not turn your 15 year old boyfriend into hot property. In fact it’s more than likely going to make him look like an arse. Remember, the clothes don’t make the man. Except of course the Hitler lookalike, I’d maybe stay clear of him.

Horny & Confused

A few weeks ago in a very intellectual & heated debate with a friend about 'Angel Men' (don't ask!), I was asked the seemingly straightforward question, "So, what's your type?"

Now, I'm a girl that gets a lot of crushes but that question had me stumped.  You see these seemingly endless crushes of mine range from the beautiful to the downright freakish!  From Senior Citizens to frankly far too young for me to be contemplating.  The thing is I have no control over the direction of these crushes and no idea what is going to attract me.  It could be a voice, a smile, a cheeky glint in the eye, a personality, sense of humor or damn it, lets be honest, just a hot body.  Sometimes I'm left baffled at my own choices & find it almost impossible to defend these little infatuations when pushed.

My husband despairs at some of my more 'unusual' choices.  For him it's quite straightforward.  Jessica Alba.  There we go, that's his answer and it will continue to be his answer until she starts letting herself go and some new younger version comes along. I'm also reminded daily of his penchant for the the young actress by the lovely pictures that seem to have made a home for themselves on our computer (no, this little infatuation doesn't bother me, I'm far hotter than her*). 

For me however, it's not quite so simple.  Maybe I'm fickle or maybe just wired incorrectly, but just one man isn't going to cut it in my little warped world.  My seemingly endless list of past & present crushes include such randoms as, Geordie Johnson, Djimon Honsou, Jared Leto, Shere Khan, Travis McCoy, Stephen Fry, Lenny Kravitz & Zac Effron.

Having considered 'my type' for several weeks I can now confirm that I am absolutely no closer to solving the mystery of my hormones. 

So take heart men, it doesn't matter if you're a hot rocker, tattooed rapper, elderly national treasure, high school musical star, animated tiger or just an average male because some freak is probably scouring the net ogling your Facebook pic as we speak. 

*This particular portion of the post may contain information that's not entirely accurate.